Note To Self: Be More Like Stringer Bell
May 21, 2009 By 5 Comments
The jobs market is not picking up; it will probably be September 2017 before Graduates like myself with no relevant experience can find a job. Tesco, Spar, Centra, they’re not interested in my skillz. My degree isn’t much good, I wish I had done one that included work experience. There’s no future in Law for myself; we have an abundance of Rumpoles in Ireland. Anyway, the only jobs in those places are deli counter roles. I can’t make sandwiches, I can only eat them. My sandwiches are so loosely held together that they transform into salads when you try to pick them up.
The way out of this, for me anyway, is to go get myself a Masters. I want to be more like Stringer Bell, from The Wire. He was aware of his limitations, but he tried to better himself, and his product. I don’t have a product, just a teddy bear and a bowl of oranges with faces painted on them. He realised the importance of a good education. I’m going to go back to college to educate myself further. Because that’s what String was all about: knowledge. On top of everything, he had such a commanding presence. I don’t imagine someone like him would have any problems with interviews. I tend to burst into tears when they ask the first question. Then I go home and hide under some old coats.
I wouldn’t mind looking like him either, the ladies love him. He looks like someone who gets things done. I look like a serial-killer. But I suppose I’m kind of like him already, in a way:
neither of us exist.
Demented Young Man
May 18, 2009 By Leave a Comment
I’m not usually frightened by the news but I must admit this little piece shocked me to the core:
Keeping the brain active by working later in life may be an effective way to ward off Alzheimer’s disease, research suggests.
Researchers analysed data from 1,320 dementia patients, including 382 men.
They found that for the men, continuing to work late in life helped keep the brain sharp enough to delay dementia taking hold.
The study was carried out by the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College London.
It features in the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry.
You see, my mental health is questionable at the best of times. I’m also currently unemployed, as you might tell to look at me. I knew a challenging working life was important to keep a sharp mind but this news story really spells it out how important. [Read more...]
Bony Prison
April 14, 2009 By Leave a Comment
No wonder tiredness occurs so easily- the brain is simply trying to escape. If it had little hands it would be boring tiny indistinguishable holes in the skull at about the time a person reaches the age when they leave college and must start whatever mistake they decided to go to college to be able to do.
Through the early twenties and thirties the holes become greater and greater in number yet are imperceptible to the host. It is only when the brain makes that last and important bore that the skull collapses and the brain is free. which is when it then proceeds to make its getaway, probably to Canada or somewhere almost wild where it can maybe have a farm and read books and drink tea with a bit of nice bread and blueberry jam. The unfortunate human left behind will probably not seem too different, since the brain refused to cooperate or work many years before. And so we are left with innumerable brainless people. Those that manage to hold on to their brain do so with great difficulty and that is why they are so deranged in a way. [Read more...]
Faecal Matters
April 4, 2009 By Leave a Comment
Boredom is a great danger to society; our brains were not designed for mindless drone work. Peaceful quietness and serenity isn’t offensive, a nice nothing is quite pleasing…but when you are confined to a chair pretending to do something when in reality you have absolutely nothing to do is a horrible
conundrum for any sane individual. The brain panics, it does not know how to alleviate the pitiful scene being relayed by the eyes. Work is hell, especially when you have nothing to occupy yourself yet you must pretend that you have something to do, so you spend hours at a time fidgeting and writing and going to the toilet.
Ah the staff toilet- the modern human’s nightmare. We seem to have forgotten that each and every one of us shit and piss and fart, but when you are using a public toilet you’re not really supposed to do any of that…well urination is acceptable since the worst you will hear is the sound equivalent to someone pouring out a nice glass of water or the faint dribbles of a dehydrated woman. Faecal matters are certainly a feared thing. Officially we don’t defecate, that is a lie we must maintain for the sake of everyone’s sense of pride and cleanliness. So to get around the fact that we do indeed spend a good part of our short lives sitting on cold hard enamel and allowing the gunge we consume to exit our bowels we have come up with elaborate and evasive methods to disguise this act. [Read more...]
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