Metro Wacko Jacko Crappo
June 26, 2009 By Leave a Comment
The manner in which the UK and IE Metros report the death of Michael Jackson on their covers is very different this morning.
Note Metro UK’s clever use of a photo of Jacko wearing a crown, on a throne. This is to accompany the headline, ‘King of Pop is Dead.’ I might remind you, of course, that Michael Jackson was often called the ‘King of Pop’ by media and you may infer therefore that the terrifying mentalist is indeed dead.
You know, just in case you thought that the King of some Middle Eastern country called Pop had died.
Tweet From The Other Side
June 26, 2009 By Leave a Comment
My hatred of the whole Twitter thing just deepened a tiny bit.
I did a silly nonsense post a few days back about Dutchy Holland and his life of crime. This involved setting up a twitter account especially for the purpose of a screengrab of Dutchy’s imaginary Twitter account. I hadn’t deleted it; it slipped my mind.
Lo and behold, I receive a number of notifications, informing me that so and so was following me, would I like to reciprocate? I checked some of these followers out. about a third of them were genuine and the rest were spambots. I don’t understand how those genuine people came across Dutchy, or why the fuck they’re so hungry for followers.
As for the spambots, today I got a jolly email informing me that I am now being followed by Laura Werth, who is a wonderfully magnificent spam spiv.
There’s quite a few spam merchants out there, flooding the internet with bilious tsunamis of shit. I still get annoyed by spam, no matter how automated and random it is.
Now I have never met horrid-nosed Dutchy, but all this, the following of fake twitter accounts, the redirections to malware sites, the marketing guff bollocks, the instructions on how to make money from uploading your piss to the internet?
I’m sure it’s what the piece of scum would have wanted.
This will be Dutchy’s last tweet:
For ever? For ever ever?
FOR EVER EVER.
May god have mercy on his soul.
Twitter Going Down The Shitter
April 30, 2009 By 6 Comments
I’m beside myself with the news that Twitter has a low retention rate, according to research from Nielsen, who might like to think about concentrating on more important research.
A full 60 per cent of new Twitter users fail to tweet again the following month, according to Nielsen vice president of primary research David Martin.
Mr Martin makes the case that this strikingly low 40 per cent retention rate poses a significant obstacle to Twitter’s long-term success. “A high retention rate doesn’t guarantee a massive audience, but it is a prerequisite,” he said. “There simply aren’t enough new users to make up for defecting ones after a certain point.”
It was obvious that Twitter was a fad, but it’s surprising to see just how quickly people realised it was a pile of shit. Hearing about the consistency of Stephen Fry’s stools or how often Ashton Kutcher rubs one out on Demi Moore’s plastic breasts is probably exciting for a day or two, but for most people the novelty wears off and there’s some other mindless pap to go and look at. Like this blog, ahem.
-What are you doing?
-Going somewhere else.
Recent Comments