Sex
The Sun has completed a very informative, scientific study of the world’s sex habits. Look at this picture. I love how I had to take a screenshot to get it, because of the copyright protection of News Group Newspapers Ltd and/or its licensors. I can see why they’re so protective; it’s a map of the world with some breasts pasted onto it. Such a special picture is surely going to make Rupert Murdoch millions more.
Marvellous. Britain has the biggest boobs, apparently. Why then is there a picture of two enormous fake tits hovering over Britain? Biggest or fakest, which is it? Brazil has the longest romps, while Japan has the record for biggest orgies. In the world of the Sun, people from Brazil and Japan look exactly the same as people from Grimsby.
Here, Rhian Sanville takes a flick through the global sex atlas and picks out some of the hottest facts ever.
Okay, this should be fun.
Dodson and Ross, an intelligent and informative sex-positive website. Or so I thought. I think most decent people draw the line at fucking animals. I certainly do anyway. Some lady wrote in for advice on whether she should pursue an exclusive sexual relationship with her Golden Retriever, and heartwarming tales of how she used to suck off dogs when younger. Surprise surprise, I see the usual lame mental gymnastics used by sexual deviants to justifty their kink, i.e. framing the abuse within some idyllic loving bond and emphasising the recipient’s pleasure. In other words, bestialists seeking distinction from other bestialists by claiming some sort of loving, consensual relationship:
One night my original Duke surprised me with his oral attentions when I was getting out of the bathtub. It was delicious… and one thing led to another. Although I never had actual intercourse with Duke as a young girl I explored all sorts of exciting intimacy with Him and eventually even shared him with my best friend. I was very free and open with him and loved burying my face in the soft fur of his neck and wrapping my little girl legs around him in gloriously abandoned affectionate hugs, etc. I also loved touching him down there and watching him grow, come… and even kissing his amazing present when he brought it out of hiding. It was really so fascinating and exciting… but came to an abrupt end when my parents discovered what was going on. I know I am not alone in this kind of … love. I’ve visited with other women on line who have various different kinds of sexual contact with their live-in “companions.” I’ve often fantasized about going all the way with my current Duke, and have considered pursuing contacts with others who claim to have done so with their own attentive, male “companions” … but still haven’t gotten up the courage to go that far. Also… I wonder, once I do (I’m pretty sure I will some day) if I run the risk of becoming zoo-exclusive (so addicted to the thrill and intimacy that I no longer wish to pursue “normal relations” with men). I’ve known a number of women on line for whom this is true.
Pardon me while I puke into my opera hat.
People are strange. The world of sex toys is a hilarious and sometimes disturbing one. Thanks to the internet, moms and dads all over the world can discretely buy their huge rubber vaginas and penises at the click of a mouse.
Here are some examples of the ‘realistic’ fake vaginas on offer over at lovehoney.co.uk.
http:///bigmentaldisease.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/fake-vagina.flv
This first one is amusing. It seems to be modelled on a strange type of woman whose body stops at the buttocks.
I feel sorry for little girls. Perusing through the choice of games for the Nintendo DS in Gamestop, I was greeted by a queasy array of shite intended for their enjoyment.
Here are some examples:
I saw this yesterday on Dodson and Ross and had to share:
This honest gent is looking for advice on how to inform the object of his affection of his feelings towards her posterior.
My advice to you, Sexyman19, is don’t. The eighteen Sexymen who came before you are all in jail for trying the same thing. I try not to touch the asses of people who haven’t explicitly asked me to, even if they’re lovely and round. Sometimes fear is nature’s way of telling you that something is not a good idea.
Be grateful that your cock always points north when you see a nice lady.
At least you’ll never lose your bearings.
I’m very tired, I have not gotten enough sleep…but then why sleep when you wake up to the same day, with minor variations in bowel habits or what you eat .The Pope is a menace. I wonder why I even grant him the honour of a capital letter.He says that condoms will make AIDS worse, I wonder does he have an experience in this area? Probably not, whatever he does in that big white building built on the bodies of terrified Christians I’m sure it does not entail anything of scientific merit. Why is it that people who have no idea what they are talking about are the ones who get listened to most often? Damn him and his pointy hat, may it turn to cheese and attract a thousand hungry angry mice, which are then followed by cranky cats.Those bloody priests and their meddling into the affairs of sexually active people. Just let them get married and then we can all get along.