Posted
on March 7, 2010, 02:48,
by bigmentaldisease,
under Television.
I’m fascinated by RTÉ chat shows. It’s mad how they manage to pluck the most pointless, godforsaken guests out of thin air every week. Two-thirds of these guests are other RTÉ personalities. It’s clear that the presenters involved are morbidly embarrassed by the quality of guests; sometimes even the guests themselves seem embarrassed at how pointless and uninteresting they are. But nobody addresses the awful issue, and everybody pretends it’s great entertainment. The whole thing has an apologetic air.
“We tried to get Gore Vidal but he told us to fuck off. Instead we have some handicapped fella off Fair City and this woman who used to be in Dallas. Sorry lads.”
Posted
on February 19, 2010, 23:27,
by bigmentaldisease,
under Television.
The Irish version of Dragons’ Den is coming back to RTÉ. It’s like the British version, only completely shit and lacking any sort of charm. From looking at that pic you might think it was a promotional shot for the Irish Hair Loss Association. And one of the dragons has fish-lips. I’ll leave you to decide which one.
I’ll tell you where I am when this raiméis is on. I’m out.
Posted
on January 30, 2010, 00:45,
by bigmentaldisease,
under News.
Sharon ni Bheoláin. A dreadful newsreader. I for one don’t think Sharon should replace Anne Doyle. Judging on competence alone, Sharon should be relegated to the radio. Judging on looks, as most people seem to do when it comes to female presenters, Sharon is nothing special. Is Brian Dobson going to be forced out by some young tanned Latino stud in briefs? Not likely.
Katie Holly, some dimwit with a bit too much time on her hands, has ‘immortalised’ Sharon in song. According to the Evening Herald, Katie’s bullshit song is a youtube hit. 2,339 views in little under two weeks. Two thousand. As much of a hit as buttered arse, it seems.
She’s the undisputed queen of the RTE newsroom — and now she’s been immortalised in song.
A ballad praising Six One newsreader Sharon Ni Bheolain has become a YouTube hit, but its lyrics are sure to raise eyebrows in the Montrose newsroom.
The Ballad of Sharon Ni Bheolain pays tribute to the blonde gaelgeoir, but also suggests that it is time she took the 9 o’clock anchorwoman crown from veteran Anne Doyle.
Songwriter Katie Holly certainly seems to think so. While describing Anne Doyle as “a fine woman for her age”, the song urges the Wexford native to “vacate her throne” in favour of her younger colleague.
The Herald can reveal the Cork singer-songwriter’s catchy song has attracted 2,339 views since it was uploaded on the video website on January 17.
Posted
on November 9, 2009, 23:44,
by bigmentaldisease,
under Dumb MediaTelevision.
This barmy guy in the audience on The Frontline was very amusing. He did make a good point or two, but honestly, it’s hard to believe that he beat a million other sperm. He’s a prime candidate for natural deselection. My sources tell me he used to be a scientist, but he quit his lucrative post at Trinity College when he found out Jesus and Walter Matthau were stealing his thoughts. These days he is working on building a spaceship from Argos catalogues. He hopes to travel to the planet Julius Persicii XI, where he will meet his real father, Count Fuckula.
I thought Pat was going to burst into tears but he handled it quite well. The crazy guy was brought out back and punished by being forced to watch a tape of Ryan Tubridy and Ronan Collins linedancing in a thong.
What a great man though. I want him to be Taoiseach. He’s definitely the person to lift us out of the recession. Perhaps make him Minister for Finance, then he could stuff some money up his bum and run up and down Kildare Street shrieking and waving a plastic chicken at people.
RTE has been hit by a wave of swine flu cases, with at least 13 employees absent from work with the virus.
Some six of these workers have been hit by the life-threatening H1N1 virus in the past two weeks.
None of the top presenters at RTE have contracted the illness so far however, according to a spokesperson.
RTE refused to comment on which programmes in particular the sick employees have been working for, but he stressed that “output has not been affected” at the station.
Big names such as Miriam O’Callaghan, Pat Kenny, Ryan Tubridy and Joe Duffy could be exposed to the virus if it spreads throughout RTE’s flagship building in Montrose.
Ryan Tubridy shouldn’t worry about the virus; one glimpse of his hideous face would have Mister H1N1 flagging down the next taxi out of RTÉ. Miriam O’Callaghan is a bit like a virus herself, the way she replicates so very rapidly.
DJ Nikki Hayes has been struck down by a more mysterious virus, preventing her from speaking through her anal passage on 2fm for at least a week. Nikki Hayes is not her real name, of course. She is another one of those radio disc jockeys who has adopted a tedious pseudonym, for no apparent reason.
