Big Mental Disease

It’s 2010 in Ireland’s capital city and I, like a lot of other people, don’t have running water.

Most of us barely escaped with our lives, after that devastating snow-storm last week. Now that the few centimetres of sludge have cleared, I wonder, as a nation, if we will ever be the same again. I think I’m going to cry now. I might ring John Waters to join me.

Then I turn on Prime Time and this Ali Selim cunt is rubbing his hands with glee over the blasphemy legislation, saying how he hopes that it is a first step and that blasphemy law needs to be taken further. I’ll take it further alright. I’ll shove it up your arse.

Little wonder that Muslim groups are among the main supporters of the law, they don’t even pretend to value free speech or intellectual thought.

The Muslim countries are working away in the UN, attempting to get support for a treaty that would protect religious belief from mockery.

You would think they would be content with Islam’s privileged place as the religion most people steer clear of mocking. I hate the cowardly comedians that are convinced they are edgy because they repeat the same old jokes about Christianity and the other religions while staying well away from even mentioning Islam.

I don’t know why they have any interest in a blasphemy law. I spoke to Allah the other day and he didn’t have a problem with mockery of religion. Neither did Mohammed. In fact he told me he liked the odd bit of mockery, to keep him on his toes. If anyone wants to ask a Mohammed a question, he’ll be staying in my toilet bowl for the next few days, until the water is turned back on and I can flush him away.

Archbishop of Dublin Diarmuid Martin has urged young people not to leave the church. “I appeal especially to the young people among you not to abandon the church. Your firm, pert buttocks are a glorious ray of sunshine to us all in these troubled times. If you leave us now, we’ll have to go back to fucking carved out watermelons.” Archbishop Martin was speaking to a collection of stuffed animals outside St Andrew’s Church earlier today.

Father Seán Fortune in Heaven yesterday.

Meanwhile bishop of Limerick Donal Murray has pleaded with the public to stop their prayers for a week, until the backlog of prayers is cleared by his overhwhelmed staff. Bishop Murray had asked for the public to pray for him and for the victims of abuse. However, due to the sheer amount of prayers coming through the Limerick diocese, a significant number of  prayers were attributed to the wrong recipients. Bishop Murray revealed yesterday in a press conference that due to an adminstrative error, several hundred prayers had been wrongly dedicated to dead sex beast Father Seán Fortune before being passed to God.

Michael Thornpippen in happier times.

This has resulted in Father Fortune being freed from Purgatory and unleashed on billions of dead angel children, according to estranged father of four from Tullamore, Michael Thornpippen, who has claimed that he has been receiving news of happenings in Heaven from the ghost of Katy French. “This bastard’s seedy sex molestations are made easier by the fact that there are no clothes in heaven. There are genitals on display all the time, so someone like him is in heaven in Heaven,”  Thornpippen said. “Also, orgasms are fourteen times more amazing in Heaven, so Father Fortune is gaining even more twisted satisfaction from his despicable acts. Katie said that the kids he’s targeting are innocent, wholesome ones. Apparently that’s how he gets his kicks. He couldn’t have the good grace to restrict himself to evil children like the Goebels kids. If I liked kids, that’s what I would do. I don’t like kids in that way though – I’m not a paedophile. The things that were said about me were  utter lies, and they didn’t stand up in court. Sometimes children can tell lies. I have nothing to be ashamed of; only God can judge me.” Mister Thornpippen has compiled a website outlining in  graphic detail how he believes the children were raped.

Bishop Murray had no comment on Thornpippen’s claims, and neither would he respond to claims that Father Brendan Smith has returned to earth from Heaven, and is wreaking havoc in the Monaleen parish.

Troubling to see today the sheer amount of cretins gathered together in Knock, Co. Mayo, looking at the sky. Fair play to Joe Coleman though, he is doing his best to make a living in hard times. So what if he’s taking money from the mentally ill. They wouldn’t know what to do with it if they didn’t have brazen conmen like Coleman to give it to.

In other news, sex perv dentist John Tait has vowed to continue opening young women’s blouses against their will. He is claiming that the Virgin Mary appeared to him while he was having a furious wank,  instructing him to go out across the land and test the strength of all the bra-straps worn by pretty twentysomethings in Ireland.

This is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while. It’s a touching video created to accompany confused sex criminal Daniel O’Donnell’s version of the nauseating hymn Here I am Lord.

What you’ll see is a succession of pictures of the Westernised image of Jesus Christ as a beautiful white man with long flowing hair. They’re the kind of sickeningly sweet pictures of Herr Christ you might see in American childrens’  bibles. Some of them are beyond belief.

Jesus looks pleased with himself. He’s just after a refreshing wank over a child’s coffin.
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I love that this Scientology advert popped up on a page about Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds. Because Scientology is basically run by a bunch of fucking Nazis anyway. By the way, that is the most retarded ad I have ever seen. You Are Not Your Name, Your Job Or The Clothes You Wear. Scientology. Yeah right, you bunch of shitting psychopaths.

The mentally retarded worshippers of the tree stump in Rathkeale, County Limerick are still trying to win their battle against the system, securing the safety of their beloved little piece of holy bollocks.

At first I was of the opinion that the fucking thing should be ripped from the ground and converted to sawdust; this might happen at a time when the foaming flock of fuckwits weren’t looking. Perhaps one could shout ’social welfare bonuses over here, form an orderly line please!’ and then quickly move in to destroy the tree while the confused clatter of cunts are looking around, er, confusedly.

However, as I thought more about it, I came to the conclusion that taking the tree away would be unnecessarily cruel. It’s like when a child becomes attached to a teddy and won’t let it out of his/her sight. Finally you reach the point when the teddy is mouldy, dirty and smells like soiled underwear. In that situation you must protect the feelings of your child on one hand, while doing the best by their health and safety on the other. Some parents would wait until the child was asleep and the swap the manky teddy with something similar, possibly something the child will love even more.

I think the tree stump should be dealt with in a similar fashion. Most of the worshippers already have one-and-a-half feet in the grave, so the authorities should be decent and attempt to find a solution that doesn’t take away what is surely the last bit of  true happiness in their long, terrifying lives. Build a plastic copy of the holy stump and place it in a field, well out of the way. Make a public announcement that the tree stump is to be upgraded to an official holy relic and moved to a special shrine, beside a new airport and souvenir shops and the like. Then when the demented crowd are satisfied the future of their woody wonder is ensured, close off the area and get to work removing the unsightly stump. The tree devotees would scuttle out to the copied tree stump as soon as you told them the new location, and as they’re as thick as pigshit they wouldn’t even notice it wasn’t a real tree. Now, everyone’s happy.

Give it two months and the lot of them will be dead. Sadly for them I suppose, they’ll all burn in hell as they chose the wrong God to worship. Unfortunately, God is actually a bar of soap, an item they were never familiar with.

People are worshipping a tree stump in Limerick. They think it contains the Virgin Mary and are protecting it it.



Retards.
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Not all young people are brainwashed.

Went along to O’Connell Street today to look at the Rally for Life held by Nazi Crackpots Youth Defence (in association with their various friends and also the American Christian Right). Plenty of frightened, brainwashed kids shamelessly on display by their parents, who stupidly believe having children makes them the ultimate authority on other people’s lives. Most of these parents were using their children as a badge for their own anti-abortion beliefs.I feel sorry for those children.

There were little freakish minions directing the rest of their anti-abortion friends, for example this annoying girl, who thought she was God parting the Red Sea or something, the way she kept waving people around with her non-existent authority.

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The right to life freaks are going to be out in force again tomorrow in Dublin. Youth Defence, Mother and Child Campaign and others are organising a pro-life rally tomorrow, Saturday July 4th,  and if you’re out and about you can expect to be annoyed by condescending, smarmy youngsters in yellow shirts with mass-produced leaflets full of misinformation and biblical quotes. My advice is to fill yourself some piss balloons and arrive early.

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John Ogbe-Ogbeide is clearly a deranged idiot.

Which makes him perfectly qualified to be a clergyman.