Everybody knows about Frank Lampard and how he frequently salutes his mother Pat, currently living in heaven after dying a few years ago. She helps him to score penalties and the like.

I don’t understand why she is helping out players from other countries however. I’ve seen so many players in this World Cup pointing to Pat Lampard up in heaven and thanking her after scoring goals, etc. Perhaps she should be a bit more loyal to her son and country. Brazilian players are very fond of her.

She’s even helping baseball players now. Does she have even the slightest bit of shame? Stop chasing the Yankee Dollar, woman. You’re an utter disgrace.