Irish Rail Suck

Another day, another Irish Rail related publicity shot in the Metro. Today’s shot, for their Taxsaver service, is like all the others: a bland clone posing with a fake smile in her barbie chic. This time she’s standing beside the ticket checking machines. If you’re a regular traveller with Irish Rail, you’ll probably know that these high-tech machines don’t work half the time; someone usually has to stand by them to check the tickets manually. And that person is usually a gruff caveman.

After this shoot, Sarah put on her hard-hat and went to inspect a few bridges.

What a fucking  joke Irish Rail is. Tweet that, you dickheads.

irish rail heuston Irish Rail Suck

Tesco Value Modelling

birdies Tesco Value Modelling

This picture from today’s Metro sums up the modelling industry in Ireland. A number of unremarkable looking young women fighting over the next Tesco value modelling gig. The gig usually involves a model standing somewhere around Dublin with a prop, such as an inflatable hand to advertise hand cream or a huge plastic cock and balls to promote some sexual awareness week. Occasionally the model will be posing with some cunt from RTÉ, or some balding businessman, who will subtly try not to get caught while looking up the model’s skirt. They might both be clasping a mobile phone and smiling like idiots at the camera, the caption saying something like ‘Model Orla Quimcatcher and Ryan Bradley, Managing Director of Arsefluff Diagnostics, pose yesterday at the launch of the new Arsefluff GX-24 mobile phone.’

In this photo, some gormless bint poses playfully with a golf club in front of one of Irish Rail’s piece of shit hand-me-down trains. She’s publicising their special service to the Irish Open. It’s unbelievable that some tosser in a PR company gets paid to come up with this shit.

If they’re advertising Irish Rail, how about being honest? They should have blondie above dressed as a humongous foam turd, shrugging her sholders while twenty euro notes flutter down around her. ‘Irish Rail, We’re shit but we don’t care. It pays.’

Irish Fail

Irish Rail Irish Fail

If you have ever had the misfortune to travel with Irish Rail then I sympathise with you.  I can guess that it was probably one of the most harrowing events in your life.  If not, then you’re a stronger person than most.  Like many  services in Ireland, you are charged through the nose for a pathetically inefficient and third-class experience.  I wonder if the monkeys in charge of Irish Rail even care at this stage that their service is a laughing stock.  I also pity visitors from countries such as Germany and France, for these people it must be like leaving behind regular steak dinners at home to come over here and eat slices of ham out of a bowl filled with pubic hair. [Read more...]