Big Mental Disease

Just watched the news there, and they were doing bits on all the Mickey Mouse Saint Patrick’s Day parades around the country. The parade in Durrow, County Laois has cruised into first place in the tasteless Paddy league table. In amongst the wild horses and bewildered old people in wheelchairs being pushed down the street against their will, they had some very strange floats indeed.

The most surreal thing for me was seeing the float containing your man portraying Tiger Woods. He was blacked-up, and dragging a ball and chain behind him. At first I thought they might be making some philosophical point about slavery, but no, it’s just a painfully lame joke about Tiger’s relationship with his wife.

Stay classy, Ireland.

[EDIT - There was a second Tiger Woods character in this parade, but I can't quite tell from the fleeting glimpse whether this was an actual black person, or another man in makeup. Post edited to clarify this.]

“It’s not council policy to deal with alleged paranormal activities”

“Laura strongly rejects any suggestion her claims are all part of an elaborate scam so as the council will transfer her to another home and is more than willing to take a lie detector to back up her story.”

Look at this ad. Pretty tame. In fact, I don’t think there would be any harm in letting a child see that, as they wouldn’t cop on to the sexual meaning.

INDEPENDENT

Complaints about a television ad for a sex lubricant that appeared before its 11pm restriction were not upheld by a watchdog.

Viewers complained the ad for Durex Play O gel, which showed the facial expressions of women who appeared to be experiencing sexual ecstasy, was offensive and unsuitable for broadcast.

The ad was cleared for broadcast after 11pm but appeared on Channel 4 shortly after 10pm during Gordon Ramsay’s F Word and Derren Brown Presents the 3D Magic Spectacular programmes.

Channel 4 said Gordon Ramsay’s F Word was of an adult nature and contained strong language and sexual innuendo, and that viewers of the programme would not have been offended by the ad.

The Advertising Standards Authority noted the viewers who complained believed the ad was unsuitable for broadcast at any time.

Anything of even the slightest sexual nature and these joyless, repressed trolls are running to the phone. The miserable cunts spend at least a week out of each month complaining about things.

I seriously think they should just kill themselves, so the world can be a little bit brighter for the rest of us.

Trevor Sargent has taken his medicine and stepped down. But I’m confident he has the strength and motivation to rise above his mistake and show everyone just how valuable he is: NOT VERY.

Trevor Sargent Yesterday

It will be harder for Willie O’Dea, a modern day moustachioed Steerpike, to regain the public’s trust. Perhaps Big Willie should call on Bill Cullen, who is an expert in lifting oneself out of excrement. The other night on The Frontline, Bill looked like he was sitting in his own excrement. I think he got so worked up in his anger at lazy youngsters that he shat himself. By the end of the show, Bill had turned that shitty trousers into €125,000 by carrying out a little wheelin’ and dealin’.

Then off for a few scoops, offering these words of wisdom after fifty one pints of Guinness: “Bejaysus isn’t it terrible de way de youngsters are in bed all day textin and twitterin on the internets. De only way forward is to roll up de sleeves and get down to some serious graft like we did in de forties and de fifties. Me whole family died young but it was the way tings were, it made men of us, dat’s de truth. Me grandfather worked forty hours a day down de docks cleanin shite out of toilets for nothing but a crust of bread and sure wasn’t he glad to have it. He couldn’t feed de kids, and three of them died of T.B. but weren’t dey happy in deyr own way Lord rest us and save us. What we need is a famine to make de youngsters appreciate de good times by bein back in de bad times, so I tells ye, ye bunch of bastards. Yer me fuckin best mate.”

Oh for fucksake.

Via nedhardy.com

So the knuckle dragging morons gather with their pitchforks around Head Shops, baying for blood. The Head Shop retailers are on borrowed time now. Either they will be closed down or burned to the ground.

I won’t really miss the Head Shops that much; after the mushroom ban, I found their products a bit shit. It’s the principle of the thing though. How uninformed, moronic hypocrites dictate the drug policy, because the politicians are too spineless to acknowledge the facts, the demand and the need for regulation rather than knee-jerk populism.

I see that guy whose brother jumped off a roof after mixing magic mushrooms with alcohol being mentioned again. It was the family of this man who helped get magic mushrooms outlawed for everyone, including those who aren’t completely clueless and don’t abuse them. I wonder why alcohol wasn’t banned at the same time. It seems to be the very harmful drug which everyone is allowed to abuse, but it’s still okay. Doesn’t matter how many alcohol abusers jump off buildings/rape/murder/molest/destroy public property, it’s all just a bit of craic. No blaming of chemical molecules for peoples’ stupidity in alcohol’s case.

Meanwhile, the gangsters are rubbing their hands together at the thought of the customers flooding back.

Turns out the FBI just used a photograph of a Spanish politician for their Bin Laden photo-fit.

Telegraph

The US state department was forced to withdraw the mocked up photo-image, circulated around the world last week, after the discovery that it was not quite as technically sophisticated as the FBI had originally claimed.

The digitally altered image of an older and greying Bin Laden was meant to show how the world’s most wanted terrorist might now look without his trademark turban and long beard. It was released in a renewed effort to locate him, more than eight years after the September 11 attack which he ordered and directed.

But it created an unexpected stir in Madrid when a Spanish MP recognised strong elements of himself in the image and complained to the US.

Gaspar Llamazares, 52, a member of Spain’s communist party and the former leader of the United Left coalition in parliament, said his forehead, hair and jaw-line had been “cut and pasted” from an old campaign photograph.

It’s good to know that the FBI likes MS Paint. Or perhaps Kid Pix Studio.

These Muslim terrorists are getting shitter at what they do by the day.

Here’s a wonderful review of Here Come the Girls, a new book by the dullards from ITV show Loose Women. This review is scanned from the current issue of Private Eye. It says a lot about the current trash culture. I despise ITV.