Mick Wallace TD has completed his first address to EU heads of state at a European Council meeting in Brussels during the past hour.  Wallace spoke eloquently on the depth of Ireland’s financial crisis and his own political journey, bringing members of the audience to tears by paraphrasing Martin Luther King, stating “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their shirts or hair, but by the content of their character.”

Wallace was in Europe due to a blunder by staff at the Department of Foreign Affairs yesterday. It is believed that a member of staff entered Mick Wallace’s name in place of Taoiseach Enda Kenny’s name on an official document, reportedly for a laugh. Staff were horrified to learn that this document, meant to confirm the Taoiseach’s attendance at the EU summit, had been faxed to Brussels over lunchtime by a different member of staff, meaning that the arrangements were set in stone and Wallace would be representing the government. An insider reveals that Enda Kenny sought the advice of the Attorney General immediately, and was told that to attend he would have to legally change his name to Mick Wallace for a day. Kenny refused, and instead Wallace offered to go himself, in return for a Breville rice cooker from Argos.

Flanagan and Wallace, today.

Wallace left for Brussels with fellow independent TD Luke Ming Flanagan in a hot air balloon, which got into difficulty over Cardiff and had to be shot down, reports say. The pair continued to Brussels in a large van resembling a sheepdog.