Last night Pat Spillane spoke bravely on the Saturday Shite Show about a broken Ireland, a cold, unforgiving country in which old men in rural areas are forbidden to drink drive because of evil ‘urban-based legislation.’ I am in full agreement with Pat; this urban-based legislation is out of touch with the realities of rural life and should be resisted. There was a day when you could down fifteen pints of Guinness, drive home and fuck the wife against her will. But of course the pesky urban lawmakers came along and put a stop to spousal rape. As Sir Matthew Hale said in 1736, “The husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual consent and contract the wife hath given up herself in this kind unto her husband, which she cannot retract.” Wise words indeed, and food for thought in these increasingly politically correct times.
Taking away this right was bad enough, but to punish elderly rural men once again by not allowing them to drive home from the pub was a step too far. Most of these men are bachelors: they don’t even have wives to rape any more. Have some mercy on them. They come from a time when men were men. I sometimes think Ryan Tubridy is the last alpha male left in Ireland. Pat muses about the decline of rural communities, expertly weaving in words of wisdom from PJ Sheehan, a man also against the demonising of drink driving, so against it in fact that he called a young female Garda ‘sugar tits’ and vowed to have her killed if she made him get out of his car. Pat says that the bachelor farmers never leave their houses anymore, for fear of being caught driving home from the pub under the influence. How we can allow such reprehensible injustices persist in this country is beyond me and it makes me ashamed to be Irish.
Don’t get me wrong, legislation is capable of doing good. It is often welcome as a means of tackling evils such as drugs and blasphemy. But it should NEVER be used to inflict damage upon alcohol and our hard-won alcohol culture. Alcohol is NOT a drug and is an overwhelming positive in Irish society.
So how long has it been since the magical mushrooms have been banned? I think it’s about three years, but I’m not sure. The whole debacle surrounding them still irritates me to this day. Only one drug is allowed total freedom to be consumed in this country, and that is good oul’ alcohol. I laughed to myself when it wasn’t touched in the budget. Of course not, but they will raise the price of cigarettes. Their reasoning is that they want to prevent people going over the border to purchase their tipple. It all comes down to money.
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