I say this every year but it bears repeating. Why in the name of god do we have to be exposed to Christmas, two months before Christmas day?

Advertising is so pathetic and sinister. You can now buy candles with the scent of spiced apple and cinnamon. Oh how christmassy. Tesco wants us to know about how we can buy all our presents from their shiny new catalogue, as they spread their tentacles into the Argos market. Tis the season to be fabulous according to Boots. Every time I hear those lines “here come the girls” I truly believe that feminism has died. It is embarrassing beyond words.

Christmas lights have already been put up in shopping centres around the country. Since times are tough, how about saving a few euro of electricity and holding back until, say mid December? Every year this kind of madness gets me angrier and angrier. Soon retailers will be urging people to shop local instead of going up North to buy their boxes of booze. I doubt Jesus had booze fountains in mind when he got nailed to the cross. Not that I care, every Christmas is a conundrum for me as to how I can avoid Mass without pissing  people off. I don’t partake any other time of the year and would like to keep it that way.

Everyone seems to get really horny at Christmas time, any party that I have been to around the festive season is just brimming with sexual tension. Mix in greasy cocktail sausages, plastic glasses full of tepid wine and you have yourself an orgy.

It’s pretty boring buying presents because the majority of people in this country have everything they need.What do you buy a little brother or sister that has a Wii, Nintendo DS, DVDs and whatever else? You try buying books and they get sniffed at.

Bah! Humbug.