Swine flu, I love you. This lovely little virus might be just the thing to get rid of those overpaid guff-merchants in RTÉ:
Big names escape as RTE is hit by wave of the virus
RTE has been hit by a wave of swine flu cases, with at least 13 employees absent from work with the virus.
Some six of these workers have been hit by the life-threatening H1N1 virus in the past two weeks.
None of the top presenters at RTE have contracted the illness so far however, according to a spokesperson.
RTE refused to comment on which programmes in particular the sick employees have been working for, but he stressed that “output has not been affected” at the station.
Big names such as Miriam O’Callaghan, Pat Kenny, Ryan Tubridy and Joe Duffy could be exposed to the virus if it spreads throughout RTE’s flagship building in Montrose.
Ryan Tubridy shouldn’t worry about the virus; one glimpse of his hideous face would have Mister H1N1 flagging down the next taxi out of RTÉ. Miriam O’Callaghan is a bit like a virus herself, the way she replicates so very rapidly.
DJ Nikki Hayes has been struck down by a more mysterious virus, preventing her from speaking through her anal passage on 2fm for at least a week. Nikki Hayes is not her real name, of course. She is another one of those radio disc jockeys who has adopted a tedious pseudonym, for no apparent reason.
