Rory, you’re a Grumpy Old Man. You like to speak openly about all the things that get your goat. I salute you for that. It’s good to be honest. So now I’m going to talk about something that bugs me.
Jeremy Clarkson, one of your GOM colleagues, talks through his arse. You choose to talk through your nose.
Your disgusting nasal mumble chills me to the bone when I hear it. It’s even more irritating than Padraig Harrington’s voice.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you ever blow your nose? Is there twenty years worth of snot in your sinuses, compacted into snot-coal? Go to a doctor, for the love of cake.
Even more worrying, there might be a humongous nasal polyp up there waiting to be taken out. Along with Shergar and Lord Lucan.
Think you are being a bit harsh on Rory, BMD. He is certainly no Oscar Wilde but at least he seems normal and has the good manners to be somewhat self-deprecating at times. Probably just needs his adenoids taken out.
On the other hand, Jeremy Clarkson is a completely different matter. I try to take a laid-back attitude to everyone but that pompous car-Nazi and his diminutive greasy sidekick make me want to lob my TV out the window, whenever I accidentally channel flick on to their show.
I entertain hopes that the midget twit Richard (“the Hamster”) Hammond makes another insane attempt on the world landspeed record and finishes himself off once and for all. Would be perfect also if the right-wing bastard Clarkson could be a passenger in the car and not wearing a seatbelt. Death by airbag suffocation would be a perfect, deserved end for that pr*ck.
Don’t think Padraig Harrington can really help sounding slightly retarted in interviews. Although he’s from a leafy part of SW Dublin, he just can’t seem to speak ‘proper’. He must have attended the ‘Bertie Ahern School of Elocution’. Would love to see his leaving Cert results (I’m guessing a C and 2 Ds, at best). Wouldn’t mind his money though!
He should have a check up, it doesn’t sound healthy! Perhaps Jeremy Clarkson can have a look. Jeremy can do anything, you know. They tried to stop him practicing medicine without a licence but he just proclaimed it ‘political correctness gone mad’ and zoomed off in his Jaguar.
The most disappointing thing about Richard ‘The Hamster’ Hammond is that he isn’t even a real hamster.
Funny!
Just flicked on to Setanta or TV3 and caught 10 seconds of Top Gear; ‘The Hamster’ dwarf was there, musing on whether or not the latest Renault Coupé was just a “little bit too girly for his particular needs, although it took corners quite well…”.
I’m surprised that he can even see above the dashboard, without 10 cushions under his ass, the smug piece of sh*t.
Think I’ll stick to watching Celebrity Big Brother. Might keep my blood pressure down, and am liking Sisqo, mentalist jesus freak Stephen Baldwin and your one from Dynasty and the Colbies – Stephanie Beecham…
Would bet the house on Vinnie Jones to win though…
Right.. good rant, but I cant say I’d ever noticed his “nasalness” before.. and on another note.. I think I may be the only person in the world who likes Jeremy Clarkson! He’s funny! The guy speaks his mind..
He jokingly comments about what he would do if he got into power.. now come on, how good would he be as the next prime minister? Cant be any worse than a) our current PM or b) the current mayor of london! (That said, I’m in another minority that loves him too! But that’s another story.. )