.. or I’ll take it off meself, ya bowsie.
You as well.
You put one on.
Television
There’s a great programme on the Discovery Channel, it’s called World’s Manliest Bear Attacks and Explosions Later on After The Original Bear Attacks. What you get is one explosive bastard of a ten-second, slow-motion dramatisation showing you how a bear once mauled a woman. It happened in the United States of America and this little dramatisation was so manly and awesome that they repeated it around fifty times over the course of an hour. Every five minutes the voiceover guy reminded you what had just happened in the previous five minutes, just in case Michael Noonan’s wife was watching.
The macho-science guys caught a huge bear and blew it up so you could see what it’s like when a bear gets blown up. Next week they’re going to be testing what happens when lots of people pile into a car and drive recklessly on small country roads.
3e have just finished showing the very odd and wonderfully irritating comedy Nighty Night. I had seen it a few years ago in dribs and drabs but managed to watch the two series again. It contains many familiar faces from the British comedy family, including Julia Davis (Jam), Kevin Eldon (He has been in everything!) Rebecca Front (The Day Today, Knowing Me, Knowing You), Ruth Jones (Little Britain, Gavin and Stacey) and Mark Gatiss (The League of Gentlemen). There is also a Stewart Lee doppelganger in the form of a vicar.
It is a twisted, bubbling mixture of irritation, humour and blatant freakishness -I love it.
Boyzone are really upset about Stephen Gately’s death. So upset in fact, that they’re going to be too depressed to spend all the money they make from milking his demise. Well, not really.
It’s a build-up of fatty deposits just above the belt-line. It’s fairly well concealed in casual clothing, but you don’t want to see me in my underpants!
Craig Doyle is a UPC customer. Is he now? I wonder if he watches Tonight With Craig Doyle to have a look at how well he’s performing. It’s pre-recorded so Craig can easily tune in along with the rest of us on a Saturday night. If he’s tied up on that night, he can just use his UPC DVR to record the show. Oh hang on, the UPC DVR is a non-functioning piece of shit. You might as well stick a scart cable into a lemon.
Trying to set up a series link on UPC can be very dirty work, and sometimes you need to go for a shower to feel clean again.
