Incredible Hulk

hulk hogan Incredible Hulk

Hulk Hogan considered committing suicide after the breakup of his marriage. He was thinking about blowing his brains out. With a gun.

But then he remembered that he had a book to write, and the suicide part would easily fill a few chapters.

So he put down the gun, and turned to Christ.

How he ended up sleeping in the same bed as Christ I’ll never know.

Breaking News

Hulk Hogan thought about killing himself when his marriage ended.

The legendary wrestler – real name Terry Bollea – got as far as picking up a gun to shoot himself when wife Linda Bollea filed for divorce after nearly 24 years together, following claims he had had an affair in 2007.

In his autobiography, ‘My Life Outside the Ring’, Hulk wrote: “There were times when I thought that a whole bottle of pills would go down easy.

“Then I noticed the gun in my hand. I was careless with it… I kept my finger pressed right to that trigger… and if I moved that finger an inch in the right direction I would have blown my brains out.”

Hulk’s depression descended further when his son Nick was indicted on reckless driving charges.

He had been involved in an accident which left his friend and passenger, John Graziano, with a broken skull and in need of lifelong medical care.

The incident happened after Nick and another friend were racing their cars, and Nick was sentenced to eight months in jail.

Hulk, 56, has also spoken of his dismay at Linda choosing to date Charlie Hill, a student 29 years her junior after their split. Charlie attended the same high school as Nick, 19, and the couple’s daughter, Brooke, 21.

Hulk felt “humiliated” to live in Tampa, Florida, and see his car driven by the teenager, but eventually he “took the high road” and “turned to Christ”.

Sheep

sheep 1023x615 Sheep

Reading some of the over-the-top obituaries for Stephen Gately, it made me wonder if there are any hardcore Boyzone fans out there contemplating ending it all. A few months back several Michael Jackson fans committed suicide after he died; they just couldn’t live in a world without the King of Pop. A lot of the more dedicated Jacko fans are a bit unstable upstairs. They would have ate his garbage if he asked them.

Those MJ fans are probably the biggest sheep on the planet. Some of these sheep were sheep right to the end, topping themselves, in some sort of lame King of Pap suicide-cult thing. That got me thinking about actual sheep, and how they follow the shepherd everywhere without question. The difference between these actual sheep and pop-culture sheep is that even if their beloved shepherd suddenly dies, the real sheep somehow muster the strength to go on.

Kelly Osbourne Blah Blah Blah

kelly osbourne Kelly Osbourne Blah Blah Blah
Kelly Osbourne Yesterday

Why do people even talk to Kelly Osbourne?

Kelly Osbourne has said that she regrets getting tattoos when younger, and is planning to have them removed. All of 24 years old, she says: “Don’t get tattoos, please, because you hate them when you get older.”

Drawing attention to the tattoo of a keyboard on her arm, she says: “I can’t play the piano and I have a keyboard because I went through this weird 1980s phase and I was really drunk.”
Independent

I’ve never heard such bullshit. Maybe you hate your tattoos. Shit people usually get shit tattoos. If you’re an idiot, or a drunken idiot, don’t get a tattoo done. You might regret it, as you got it for no fucking reason other than to show off.

To the other people, the majority, who have brains and get tattoos for the right reasons: continue.

Jaded

jade goody Jaded
Jade, shouldn’t you be in heaven?
Why the hell do you keep creeping into all the headlines!

Anne Robinson says TV “sexist and ageist”

annerobinson Anne Robinson says TV sexist and ageist

No shit. And you’re certainly doing a lot to tackle ageism, by refusing to come to terms with your own ageing.

Instead you just buy a new face every few years.

RTÉ News

Anne Robinson has spoken of the difficulties female presenters face in the television industry.

In an interview with the Radio Times, the 64-year-old said: “I’m quite pragmatic. If there was a lovely blonde with huge breasts and long legs who had my experience and wit, I’d be out of a job.”

Robinson, who is returning to present the BBC consumer show ‘Watchdog’, continued: “I think all television is sexist and ageist.”

But Robinson also said she felt that younger women working in television had better career prospects than men of a similar age in the UK.

“There are a lot of pretty young things with not much talent appearing on television here, and I don’t think that young guys who are not as attractive would get those gigs,” she said.

Robin Williams Denies Something or Other

Sometimes I think I’m going crazy. The entertainment world appears to be getting more surreal by the day:

robin williams susan boyle Robin Williams Denies Something or Other

Insufficient Funds

KERRY KATONAS Insufficient Funds

The World Just Got a Tiny Bit Smarter

michael jackson fans commit suicide

Michael Jackson Moonwalks into the Grave

michael jackson Michael Jackson Moonwalks into the Grave

The King of Hearts and suspected King of child-penis-stroking is dead.

GOD HELP US ALL.


Absolute fucking conman and all-round shithead Uri Geller did his best to save Wacko by inserting a spoon into his heart and trying to bend it with his mind in such a way that Jacko was jumpstarted back into his life of mental depravity. It didn’t work.

Now Jacko joins Princess Diana, Jade Goody and Bernard Manning in hell, where he will take part in a fly-on-the-wall documentary for MTV UK. Or whatever the hell channel shows that kind of crap, I can’t remember.

Close friend Uri Geller told Sky News he was hoping desperately that the reports were not true: “I must hear it from a doctor. I cannot believe everything I see and read and hear at the moment. I hope its not true, I’m waiting like you are, like the whole planet is waiting to hear it from the mouth of the doctor taking care of him.

“I’m absolutely devastated and shocked. He was a young man terribly fit and basically in good shape. If it is true I am just in total shock.”

Breaking News

Now follows the inevitable media U-Turn, as happened with Goody and Spencer, where Jackson is elevated to the status of a Greek God, a misunderstood genius, as opposed to the freakshow he was a week ago.

Daddy, What’s a Megan Fox?

Megan Fox Pope

Megan Fox is a bland ‘lads mag’ favourite who seems to spend most of her days telling anyone who’ll listen about how much of a naughty girl she is. Everything she says is aimed at the titillation of men.

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