“It’s not council policy to deal with alleged paranormal activities”
“Laura strongly rejects any suggestion her claims are all part of an elaborate scam so as the council will transfer her to another home and is more than willing to take a lie detector to back up her story.”
The Sun has completed a very informative, scientific study of the world’s sex habits. Look at this picture. I love how I had to take a screenshot to get it, because of the copyright protection of News Group Newspapers Ltd and/or its licensors. I can see why they’re so protective; it’s a map of the world with some breasts pasted onto it. Such a special picture is surely going to make Rupert Murdoch millions more.
Marvellous. Britain has the biggest boobs, apparently. Why then is there a picture of two enormous fake tits hovering over Britain? Biggest or fakest, which is it? Brazil has the longest romps, while Japan has the record for biggest orgies. In the world of the Sun, people from Brazil and Japan look exactly the same as people from Grimsby.
Here, Rhian Sanville takes a flick through the global sex atlas and picks out some of the hottest facts ever.
Okay, this should be fun.
Poor, from the Times of London.
And another typo:
That’s how you pronounce Ryan’s name in dog-speak.
They’ve found the British Josef Fritzl. I know the authorities already caught the Australian and American Josef Fritzls, from wot I did read about it in the papers and that.
Now, I’m no fan of the Fritzls but you have to admire the sheer size of the family, and the way they embraced emigration. Maybe the Fritzls in other countries will be better behaved.
Here’s a wonderful review of Here Come the Girls, a new book by the dullards from ITV show Loose Women. This review is scanned from the current issue of Private Eye. It says a lot about the current trash culture. I despise ITV.
I have just read that JG from Play TV has gone. I can only assume that he is leaving to put together a boyband, as he is fresh faced and looks as if he could hold a tune. He will have to spend quite a bit of time on Louis Walsh’s casting couch, but JG’s a game lad, and he wants it very badly. It’s hard, but if he plays his cards right, a huge payoff will gush forth. As John Giles would say, honesty of effort, that’s your starting point. Reminds me of the time Louis Walsh REMOVED ON LEGAL ADVICE-REMOVED ON LEGAL ADVICE-REMOVED ON LEGAL ADVICE-REMOVED ON LEGAL ADVICE and they had to operate to remove it!
The first installment of this rubbish, hosted by Miriam O’Callaghan, starts with women debating the role of men in the new Irish society. I wasn’t expecting much, but decided to watch it and see the embarrassment unfurl. If anyone was expecting some sort of serious intellectual debate they will be sorely disappointed. For a moment there I thought I was watching a Sex in The City fanclub meeting. The usual moaning about men not pulling their weight in the household chores, how unfashionable they are and how terrible they are at being romantic. This is the type of programme that seeks to provide entertainment by showcasing the weariest stereotypes of both men and women.
Funny how the woman complaining about Irish men’s lack of fashion sense was sporting terribly bleached hair and pancaked makeup (Name: Claire Tully. Occupation: Glamour Model… that makes sense). She later started moaning about how she would never date a man in his late thirties who didn’t have a car and a house. I can hear the faint digging right behind her ears. She didn’t understand what a man like that would have been doing with his life. Another panelist mentioned the possibility that such a man may just have been studying for a PhD, or something else worthwile. Claire didn’t accept this, however. Some people actually do spend time studying or travelling in their twenties, Claire. Not everyone can pause their studies and get paid to pose naked in seedy magazines.
Claire wants a man she can settle down and have kids with, after she has done her ten or so years of getting her tits out for the lads. I don’t think there’s much chance of an intelligent man being interested in her anyway, or at least a man who asks more from life than saving up his money, entering a boring marriage, buying a house and popping out kids, which is what she said she wants. Claire has a good education behind her, apparently. Just shows how meaningless degrees are as a measure of intelligence. Apart from one or two exceptions, the barrister and one or two other women, most of the people involved in this programme were unintelligent and uninformed. And how lame was that spectacled guy at the end who tried to stir things up by mentioning a swimsuit round? You’re not funny, you’re not witty.
Coming next week, a big group of balding farmers and pea-brained rugby players talk about how women are no good at reading directions and spend half the day worrying about the size of their bottoms.
