Alain de Botton is a man who I cannot take seriously. I freely admit that this is because of his head. I have never read anything the man has produced, and know almost nothing about him. However, his skirted egg has actually brought me to anger on one occasion. I cannot believe that someone would maintain such a ridiculous haircut. I have been accused of being baldist before, and perhaps I am. But it’s not just the hair loss, it’s the way he keeps the two flaps of hair at the sides and then complements them with a look so smug, Mark Little, Kevin Myers or Gay Byrne would be impressed.

However, on reading the vilification of the shiny-bonced boffin over in the comments section of this Guardian piece, I almost feel sorry for the academic billiard ball. How could anyone read such horrible comments about themselves and not want to end it all? People should really stop being so vicious and mean. It’s not fair to make fun of someone so viciously behind an online alias. They are just cowards, to be honest.