This is one of the funniest things I have seen in a while. It’s a touching video created to accompany confused sex criminal Daniel O’Donnell’s version of the nauseating hymn Here I am Lord.
What you’ll see is a succession of pictures of the Westernised image of Jesus Christ as a beautiful white man with long flowing hair. They’re the kind of sickeningly sweet pictures of Herr Christ you might see in American childrens’ bibles. Some of them are beyond belief.
Jesus looks pleased with himself. He’s just after a refreshing wank over a child’s coffin.
I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of the more fanatic Jesus freaks in the USA and elsewhere are actually in love with Jesus. It’s not hard to see how you would be in love with this guy, he’s a bit of a ride.
Most of the female followers (and plenty of the males) want to suck Jesus’s big, heavenly cock. They want him working miracles between their legs. As for the gay guys, Jesus is a perfect catch as he is known to give fantastic head. Here’s a picture of him blowing an angel. Jesus also sucks God’s cock in heaven. That sounds bad, but in reality it’s just masturbation, as Jesus and God are the same person.
This picture is fucking terrifying. It’s waterfall Jesus.
Even in tough times, Jesus uses his head. Here he is trying to sell a used cross to an English Professor.
But the creepiest and most un-fucking-believable picture of all is this last one.
A little child is standing on a carefully placed table, kissing Jesus, as he’s being crucified in unimaginable agony. Somebody has dragged a motherfucking table up the hill and placed it beside him, decorated it with a tablecloth and flowers and lifted a child onto it.
All the time Jesus is writhing in extreme pain. His wrists are bursting open, the thorns have pierced his brain and his small intestine is hanging out of his open wound in a disgusting fashion, spraying bile and waste all over Mary Margarine’s bikini. But he still takes time out from his horrific death to kiss a child.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Jesus looks a lot like Matthew McConaughey in these pictures. Sandy coloured hair, deep blue eyes, ripped abs & a tendency to take their tops off all the time?
Is Matthew McConaughey the messiah?
He does look like Matthew. You could set your watch to those abs. Shame that hot body was ruined by driving nails through it.
Jayzus,
Those icons/images bring back some bad memories of primary infants’ school classes in the late 70s.
Those were the best times in Ireland when you would get a good 5 leathers on the hands for sneezing, a good rodgering from the local PP when you went around to help him clean the garden.
Maybe this explains why I’ve developed a taste for adult Japanese bondage sites.
The sound of ‘Dannill ODonnell’ alone is enough to want to make you stick skewers in your ears. He reminds me more and more of Fr. Ted’s ‘Eoin McLove’ character as the years roll by.
Wonder if Danill was emasculated by his mother in his teens, in an unsuccessful attempt to maintain a castrato voice?
The blonde, blue-eyed Jesus always made me think – it was Hitler’s Aryan ideal, and obviously the Vatican’s also. If the guy existed, he would probably look more like Shiavish in the current Big Brother, I’m guessing.
@BN Sweets: If Jesus was around today he would be in Guantanamo Bay. Though he could probably escape by walking away on the water.