I read an intriguing article in the Evening Herald today, by a certain Michael Doherty, concerning his thoughts on those who read books.
“People who don’t eat broccoli or can’t drive aren’t attacked, so why are non-book readers insulted? asks Michael Doherty”
Well Michael, as far as I know, you can’t gain knowledge from eating broccoli and the only person I know who tried to read a car is currently in a category five mental asylum. I think you have a case of inferiorensius complexius, i.e yous feel bad that yous is a dumb head.
He gets irritated when people ask him what book is he reading..“The inference being that he MUST be reading a book”. He describes people who read books as bores, ” not content with rolling around in the squalor of their own tedious pursuit”. He doesn’t like the fact that people don’t throw out books but instead “store in a bookcase, so that anyone unlucky enough to be invited to their home will be forced to appreciate their extensive collection” as if to taunt the non-book readers as they stare at rows and rows of pages they that they will never have the brain capacity to read.
I think these are the words of a man who has problems with the fact that not everyone around him is, how would we say, obtuse. You see, the more thickos that are present, the more people out there who might actually buy one of his crapazines. Apparently he is “the publisher of the VIP magazine group”. How embarrassing.
Who actually buys VIP magazine other than the Irish zelebs wanting to scrutinise their badly photoshopped debuts, in Ireland’s equivalent of “Hello!” and “Ok!”? Pages and pages of terrible photos, badly lighted and composed, of people who are supposedly famous. Which means about three people might know who they are, if they walk into some uppity Dublin nightclub.
He likes to read “biographies” and “Piers Morgans – type diaries”..ah yes, its all becoming clear now!
The reason he likes these sort of books is ” because they’re not, technically speaking “books”. They’re more akin to a collection of newspaper articles….conveniently bite-sized so that you can pick them…then discard them” .
You see Micheal, you are what we would call…slightly dumb. Just goes to show, its not just the young uns whose brains have gone to shit, happens to the oldies aswell!
Stewart Lee discussed Celebrity Biographies and the like in Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle:
I’f you’ve only ever read one book in your life, I’d highly recommend… you keep your mouth shut.
It’s hard to know if I agree with him or not, since I’m too snobbish to read shitty little articles tucked away in shitty little corners, of shitty little news publications.
He runs VIP does he? I hope the photography has improved since I critiqued it last… [Shameless link inclusion]
I try to ignore this kind of guff, after all, it’s the Herald, you know what you’re going to get.
People ask me why I bother but it certainly helps my mental health to address all this fucking stupidity around me. I wish I didn’t have to pay for this toss, it’s just the jobs section seems to be the only hope these days for a job that doesn’t need 5 years experience.
I’m going to include that link in my post, those posts of yours are great.
Michael O’Doherty is such a spastic, I”m ashamed to say he’s my twin brother. We were both born in December 1964.
Sarah O’Doherty
I’m actually gay as well, and my dick is very, very tiny.
Michael O’Doherty
GET MY HOLE OFF IVENUS.COM. FOR THE FORTIETH TIME THAT’S NOT ME.
GET MY HOLE OFF IVENUS.COM MICKEY. FOR THE FORTIETH TIME THAT’S NOT ME.
Hi Everyone,
Does everyone know that I live at 19 Wainsfort Manor Drive? If you visit me I can pretend that I’m being mobbed by a horde of journalists. Sorry, why am I famous again?
Michael O’Doherty’s address is 19 Wainsfort Manor Drive. That’s in Terenure, Dublin.
Hi Everyone,
Does everyone know that I live at 19 Wainsfort Manor Drive? If you visit me I can pretend that I’m being mobbed by a horde of journalists. Sorry, why am I famous again?
Michael O’Doherty
Hi Everyone,
Does everyone know that I live at 19 Wainsfort Manor Drive? If you visit me I can pretend that I’m being mobbed by a horde of journalists. Sorry, why am I famous again?
Michael O’Doherty
Sarah O’Doherty
My address is on the internet. If you can find it you can join my special club for the G and T (gifted and talented)